Jeremy Kyle halts performance of ‘Mamma Mia’ to settle paternity dispute with DNA test

There was pandemonium at London’s Prince of Wales theatre last night as talk-show host Jeremy unsecured loans Kyle invaded the stage during a performance of hit musical ‘Mamma Mia’ in a bid to determine which of three men who had slept with a singer in the late 1970s was the father of 22-year-old Sophie.

‘Let me get this straight,’ Kyle said bad credit loans to Sophie’s mother, Donna, as the audience looked on in disbelief. ‘You claim that you spread it about so much you don’t even know who your daughter’s father is? Yet you keep their details in a diary she conveniently found shortly before her wedding? I just don’t buy it. I think you owe Sophie the truth after all these years.’

The action then cut to a backstage booth where a tearful Sophie explained that she had contacted the producers of the Jeremy Kyle Show in order to confront her mother before her impending wedding to her sweetheart, Sky. ‘I just want to know who my dad is,’ sobbed Sophie, as audience members found themselves booing her mother and spontaneously shouting ‘Slag!’

Kyle then brought out the three men who identified themselves as Sam, Harry and Bill, all claiming to be unaware of Sophie’s existence until the wedding invitations arrived a month ago. ‘And I suppose none of you, with no idea you had a daughter, helped set up this single, non-working mum with her own hotel on an idyllic Greek island?’ asked Kyle. ‘Oh please!  I’ve had some sordid stuff on my show, but this really takes the biscuit. A beautiful young girl is about to get married – the time for lies is over. Bring on the lie detector!”

The production then rapidly deteriorated into name calling and fist throwing as Kyle manfully continued to berate the cast, the curtain finally coming down to a standing ovation from the full house as Kyle promised to read the DNA test results after a short break.

His crew then moved on to the Lord Chamberlain’s Players production of ‘Hamlet’ at Shakespeare’s Globe to record another show entitled ‘Mum, You’re Shagging My Uncle Who Murdered My Dad, But I Still Quite Fancy You’.

CARMEN WINSTEAD to light

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A certain commercial operation ambience combined by a Government has meant that there is a clever financier certainty that brings in some-more unfamiliar investments in to Mexico.

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Amnesty International - Bush

Amnesty International has called for several African nations to arrest and detain former President George W. Bush for authorizing the use of waterboarding and other forms of torture.

Mr. Bush is visiting Ethiopia, Tanzania and Zambia this week to raise awareness about cervical and breast cancer and HIV/AIDS.

The international human rights unsecured loans group's written statement recognizes the value those goals, but says it "cannot lessen the damage to the fight against torture caused by allowing someone who has admitted to authorizing waterboarding to travel without facing the consequences prescribed by law."

The organization called for the governments of Ethiopia, Tanzania and Zambia to arrest Mr. Bush and "to secure his presence during the investigation" of "his alleged involvement in and responsibility for torture."

It is not the first time human rights groups have called for Mr. Bush's arrest. Amnesty called for his arrest in October during a visit to Canada and the former president canceled a visit to Switzerland in February on fears that he may have faced legal action there.

Mr. Bush wrote in his memoir, "Decision Points," that he personally approved the use of waterboarding, an interrogation technique that simulates drowning, for alleged September 11 mastermind Khalid Sheik Mohammed.

New York Rep. Peter King called Amnesty's action misguided.

""If Amnesty International had any intellectual honesty, it would give President Bush a medal to honor him for liberating so many oppressed baD CREDit loans Muslims in Iraq and Afghanistan and for assisting millions of AIDS victims in Africa," said the Republican chairman of the House Committee on Homeland Security.